1. Avoiding the discussion of alternative living arrangements for your parents.
It is important to be proactive concerning this! It is so much easier and less confrontational to start this process early and often. If you start early having discussions about options and choices, you can be much more low key about it.
If you wait until after Mom has fallen and broken her hip, the pressure is on and the emotions are high. At that point you are pressed for time to find answers quickly.
2. Being in the dark when it comes to your parent’s financial situation.
Do you know if your parents have a long term care insurance policy? If they have one, make sure you know where to find it and that it can be easily accessed. It’s also a good idea to take the time to read through the policy so you have at least a basic understanding of what it and isn’t covered.
If there is no insurance, are there other financial resources? Would it behoove your parents to talk to an attorney about Medicaid eligibility and spend down rules? If one of your parents is a Veteran they may be eligible to have certain services covered.
3. When your parents’ health starts to fail, thinking that a nursing home is the only option.
It’s important to understand that there are plenty of options around these days. If your parent is is adamant about remaining in their own home, chances are good that you can arrange for quality care there until they pass.
You can also get a bit creative about combining several types of care. As an example, a family could have Dad go to an adult day care facility a few times a week. Other days you may have a caregiver that stays with him other days and also overnight. Then you and other family members can fill in other times, if needed. When it comes to customizing a plan that is right for you and your loved ones, the possibilities are endless.
4. Not getting help until the last minute.
When Mom is scheduled to come home from the hospital tomorrow, there are few things more stressful than having to start coming up with a plan of care. In situations like that when there is so much stress, it’s nearly impossible to make a good, rational decision in such a short period of time.
Start early doing your homework. Begin to form a relationship with a couple of agencies or facilities you feel comfortable with by having them come out and do an Assessment or you and your parents visiting a facility. When and if an emergency strikes, you will be calling up people who know you and is familiar with your loved one’s situation.
5. Only looking at cost when deciding between care options.
This can go either way. Very expensive nursing home facilities may not have very good track records when it comes to caring for their residents. Don’t just look at pretty websites, videos, fancy tours or brochures. It’s important to talk to as many residents and their loved ones as possible to get a true sense of the care the facility provides.
As for home care, be very careful about choosing the “cheapest” hourly rate. Remember that good caregivers demand to be paid more. Good homecare agencies cannot offer the best caregivers AND be the cheapest. Also ask to meet and approve of any caregiver before they start care.
Theanna Zika started St. Louis, MO home care company, Heavenly Helpers, in 2004. She shares tips, strategies and advice about caring for seniors that she has learned over the years on the blog at her company’s website. The site also features a helpful list of St. Louis, MO senior resources for seniors and their families in the St. Louis, MO Metro area.
